Listening With Love

By Roland Moore, The United Faith

Luke 18:14 NIV
“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Often times, I find myself greeting people I see and come in contact with on a daily basis with a simple phrase… “Hey, how you doin?” Not realizing my phrase is a question, I continue walking off without hearing their response. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s done this. Ever wonder if someone really needs to talk? Ever wonder if someone really needs to know someone cares how they’re doing? I know I need to work more on listening with love, as we all do. May we ask the Lord to help us be quick to listen and slow to speak and to judge. A proud attitude so easily infects our lives. Ask God to give you a humility that reflects His heart and love. We don’t get closer to God by passing judgment on others or by passing them on the streets. Find time to really listen to someone today, with love. Don’t be so proud that you feel you’re too good to be there for someone else.

Impressions, First

By Charles Ademolu 

Baylor University, BA Psychology

I was taught at an early age that first impressions go an extremely long way. Matter of fact, they apparently went so far that if I made a bad first impression or was not on my best behavior in front of someone or a group of people, I could be instantly written off as a troublemaker, as someone others should “stay away from,” or as the person to keep an eye on. 

Eh. I think that lesson is useless. 

I guess I am addressing this idea of first impressions because it either says or encourages that if your first impression is anything short of spectacular, that’s a wrap. Or to be blunter, one strike and you’re out. However, to be a bit broader in scope, I am getting at our lack of patience and understanding with one another as human beings. It is vital and necessary as inhabitants of this large green and blue globe we call Earth, that we learn and practice being consistently patient with one another in order to thrive, not simply exist. 

Please, do not fall into the comfortable pitfall of judging someone off their first impression, whether pleasant or terrible. If they entrust you the beautiful privilege to do so in their lives, get to know people and their stories because you would be very surprised to discover why they do the things they do, believe the things they believe, and act the way they act. 

For instance, the young girl that is nice all the time may feel that the only way to be accepted and acknowledged by people is by being pleasing people at any cost, even if it is at the extent of her own happiness and well-being. The cashier at the grocery store may be red-hot ringing up groceries because he, as a single father, is doing as much as he can to financially support himself and his little child. The quiet person at work or school that is not talkative or is normally aloof towards others is so because he has seen how those closest to him outcast and throw stones, literally and metaphorically speaking, at other people included in or involved with the LGBTQ community. And the homeless man living on the street looking into passersby’ eyes is not particularly looking for money (though he could use it for food, water, and shelter) but rather the sheer possibility of being noticed as a human again. 

I understand how helpful generalizing can be at times for its convenient purposes, but know and remember that every single person is different and is multilayered with culture, background, history, and personality. In other words, people must be dealt with in a unique fashion. Be patient with people in their frustrations, in their fits, in their quiet times, in their times of confusion. Give people room to make mistakes and chances to be resilient. And while you are at it, be patient with yourself as you are patient with others. 

Try not to jump to conclusions when interacting with people because there is, more often than not, more to them than meets the impressionable eye. 

Network, Network, Network

“It’s not about what you know, but who you know”, “two heads are better than one”, “strength in numbers” and any other phrase people use to talk about how “the whole is greater than the sum of its parts” are all right in my book. I’m glad we finally have the research to prove it. It’s called social health. The better we are at getting along with others, the better off we are as individuals. You want to live longer; connect with more people.  

Some of us don’t need any help at all. We love being around people. As long as the right people are around, anything we do is enjoyable. On the other hand, some people fear being in sociable settings. They only go out when they have to, and leave as soon as they can. Then there are some who love to go out, but need some healthier alternatives. Social health is important, but you don’t want to compromise the other four areas of health while at it. Here are some pointers on increasing your social health, without ruining other areas in your life: 

Join an Organization 

A great way to meet people is to join a group of like minded people. It’s easier to get along with people if they are similar to you. If you know you’re not great at meeting random people, find an organization of people with common goals and interest. If you can’t find a group dong what you like, start your own club. I promise there are enough people that like what you like, and with technology it’s easier than ever to meet people from all over.

Choose Wisely 

Social connections can be great, but be aware of who you let in your life. Everyone you meet isn’t going to better your life. You may even need to evaluate your current relationships and let some of them go too. 

Pride Kills 

Some people live longer than others because they actually make use of their social networks . It’s one thing to have a social network in place, but you also have to be willing to turn to it for help. Many people don’t like asking for help because it makes them look weak… but all humans are weak and in need of help. If you don’t like showing people your weaknesses, then they’ll never be able to help you overcome them. 

Think Health 

When choosing the activities you participate in, make sure it’s healthy overall. If the social group you hang with is brining you down mentally, physically, spiritually, or hurting the environment; find another option. Maybe instead of changing the activity completely you just need to make some minor changes, like using protective gear or substituting out the unhealthy options.

Love Yourself 

Stop worrying about how other people think of you and relax. We’re all different. Before you can start building your relationships with others; you have to work on yourself first. Sometimes I don’t like being around people, but then I realize it’s because I’m not happy, not because everyone around me sucks.

We're All One

Your health is a combination of not just your own mental and physical health, but everything around you as well. Your health is important because it’s necessary for proper growth and development. It allows us to live happier, feel better, and get the most out of life. When healthy individuals are performing at their best, they add more value to society overall. A healthier society also requires fewer resources, leading to an additional increase in an economy’s production. The health status of the individuals within a society determines the health status of everything around it.  

Becoming a healthier society depends on how we interact with the environment and individuals around us. We teach that taking care of ourselves is important, but we forget to talk about taking care of others. Knowing your environment is responsible for your own success; you should try to take care of everyone and everything around you. I’m not saying you should sacrifice your own health for the sake of others, but we are only as strong as our weakest link. In order for us to fully grow as individuals and experience all the benefits of living a healthy life ourselves, we must take care of everyone and everything else at the same time.